Hitting on a hot chic is always a great thing, but hitting on your best friend's ex....GET OUT OF HERE. A bro never dates his best friend's ex. Dating your best friend's ex is like taking the easy road to meeting a woman. Your best friend met this girl, started dating her, introduced her to you, and when things ended wrong....YOU....you decided to jump in and hook up with his ex. You were probably thinking that she already knows you and she probably digs you so you're just going to jump in. What you need to know is that when that friend introduced that girl to you, he trusted you. Don't fall for that girl, she is evil. Keep your head straight and think about all the great things your bro has done for you. Then think about the risks that are going to rise from dating this woman. You aren't going to find any happiness with her. Plus there is plenty of fish in the sea. It is just that some guys have disfunctioning fishing rods, so they decide to feed on their best friend's catch.
Sometimes, the girl you are looking at was previously dating a friend of yours. Just a normal friend. Well, what do you do then? The Bro Code has a scale that sets everything straight.
Your good friend and she dated for
0 - 6 months + he dumped her = you don't wait, go ahead and date her
0 - 6 months + she dumped him = wait for at least 6 months
6 - 12 months + he dumped her = wait for at least 6 months
6 - 12 months + she dumped him = wait for a year and ask for permission
+ 1 year + he dumped her = wait for a year
+ 1 year + she dumped him = wait for a year and ask for permission
So you have waited for the time you were required and now you need to ask for permission. The best time to ask for permission is when your friend is engaged in another relationship. If he has another girl on his hands, he isn't going to care much about. If he doesn't have another girl, well then there is a lot of stuff that you're going to face. He is probably going to say that it is okay and that he has moved on from her. He is lying. I don't think a guy ever moves on from a girl. He will always have feelings for her. Anyways, don't expect that friend of yours to talk to you for the next few weeks. It's just the way things go....you have to choose between the girl and the bro. I recommend the bros, unless the girl is about a 8 or higher on the 10 point scale. ;)
-Bro CODE
Friday, May 11, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Why it is Better to be a Man
The day of the last Bro Code post isn't too far away, and before ending this blog I want to simply talk about why men are better than women. Lets admit it girls, it is definitely better to be a man. Men can do so many things that girls can't and that makes us better. We still respect all of you for your accomplishments over time, but we are still better. Here is my list of things that explain why it is better to be a man.
When comparing men and women from the same age and background, the man is always stronger. Men can get work done. If there something heavy to move, we don't complain about it...WE PICK IT UP, and move it.
Second, Men don't have to wear make-up to look good. Women wake up in the morning, and spend nearly an hour to apply products to their face. Men use that extra hour to just get more sleep. Honestly all I do in the mornings is get out of bed, take a shower, smack some lotion on, put on some clothes and go to school. Psh on Saturdays I have frisbee practice in the mornings, and I don't even take a shower before attending. It is also a lot easier for a man to pick clothing. We don't try to match our stuff. I just grab a shirt and shorts, and put those on.
Men make more money. When comparing an average man with an average women, the guy makes more money. That is why society came up with the rule that a guy has to pay for most of his girlfriend's expenses. You can choose not to do it, but be ready to have other people frowning upon you. Also, when was the last time you saw a girl making it rain in the club.
Probably the best thing about being a man is that you can take a piss any where. Nothing else needs to be said.
When comparing men and women from the same age and background, the man is always stronger. Men can get work done. If there something heavy to move, we don't complain about it...WE PICK IT UP, and move it.
Second, Men don't have to wear make-up to look good. Women wake up in the morning, and spend nearly an hour to apply products to their face. Men use that extra hour to just get more sleep. Honestly all I do in the mornings is get out of bed, take a shower, smack some lotion on, put on some clothes and go to school. Psh on Saturdays I have frisbee practice in the mornings, and I don't even take a shower before attending. It is also a lot easier for a man to pick clothing. We don't try to match our stuff. I just grab a shirt and shorts, and put those on.
Men make more money. When comparing an average man with an average women, the guy makes more money. That is why society came up with the rule that a guy has to pay for most of his girlfriend's expenses. You can choose not to do it, but be ready to have other people frowning upon you. Also, when was the last time you saw a girl making it rain in the club.
Probably the best thing about being a man is that you can take a piss any where. Nothing else needs to be said.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Cry Baby
The Bro Code is very disappointed at other bloggers for two reason. First, for not leaving comments and second for not updating their blog. Anyways, the Bro Code is still going to help you better your game with the ladies. You and your girlfriend are sitting on the sofa together watching The Notebook, and you start crying before she does.... well that is embarrassing. Guy are not suppose to cry, we are suppose to be strong and supportive. Technically, we are not even suppose to cry after getting hit in the balls. Sometimes the situation can be rough and the rules for crying bend a little.
You're allowed to cry if:
1) a family member or friend has passed away
2) you have lost a long time pet, continue reading below
Pets you are allowed to cry for: Dogs, Horses, Pigs, and Monkey
Pets you are not allowed to cry for: Fish, Hamsters, Birds and everything else
3) you just won a lot of money
If you find yourself in a situation were you are about to cry, and you are not suppose to be crying.... well then the Bro Code has methods that you can use to get yourself out
Method #1) You're watching a movie with your bros and you're about to cry, the easiest way to get away is to tell the group that you need to talk a dump. Go to the bathroom and wipe your eyes. Get your game back on and join the group for the rest of the movie.
Method #2) Keep your eyes wide open and don't blink
Okay, so you weren't able to hold yourself back and now you're crying in front of your friends. The best way to cry is to just let it all out. Don't try to hold your tears back. Just let it all out at once. Also don't try to be one of those people who try to talk and cry at the same time, because it makes you look really stupid.
How about when it isn't you who is crying. Sometimes it is the girl who is crying. Sadly, many guys do not know what to do when a girl is crying. If you really, really, really care about this girl, then try to cheer her up and tell her that everything will be fine. If the girl is a an okay friend, then just give them a huge hug and watch TV over their shoulders. ;)
- Bro CODE
You're allowed to cry if:
1) a family member or friend has passed away
2) you have lost a long time pet, continue reading below
Pets you are allowed to cry for: Dogs, Horses, Pigs, and Monkey
Pets you are not allowed to cry for: Fish, Hamsters, Birds and everything else
3) you just won a lot of money
If you find yourself in a situation were you are about to cry, and you are not suppose to be crying.... well then the Bro Code has methods that you can use to get yourself out
Method #1) You're watching a movie with your bros and you're about to cry, the easiest way to get away is to tell the group that you need to talk a dump. Go to the bathroom and wipe your eyes. Get your game back on and join the group for the rest of the movie.
Method #2) Keep your eyes wide open and don't blink
Okay, so you weren't able to hold yourself back and now you're crying in front of your friends. The best way to cry is to just let it all out. Don't try to hold your tears back. Just let it all out at once. Also don't try to be one of those people who try to talk and cry at the same time, because it makes you look really stupid.
How about when it isn't you who is crying. Sometimes it is the girl who is crying. Sadly, many guys do not know what to do when a girl is crying. If you really, really, really care about this girl, then try to cheer her up and tell her that everything will be fine. If the girl is a an okay friend, then just give them a huge hug and watch TV over their shoulders. ;)
- Bro CODE
Friday, April 20, 2012
Making a Girl Like a Sport
You're watching the last minute of the football game. These last minutes can change whether your team makes it into the playoffs or not. You're all up on the edge of the seat waiting for the quarterback to hike the ball. While all this is happening your girlfriend is sitting next to you, telling you that she hates football. She won't stop complaining about how she doesn't understand anything, and that the game is stupid. Well, ladies... football is not stupid. It is the most amazing sport alive. Also, it isn't our fault that you don't understand how the game works. You aren't going to try to learn anything, so we, guys, have to make things interesting for you so we can watch the game peacefully.
Making a girl like a sport isn't easy, but there is a way. All you have to do is occasionally put on a game with a hot quarterback. Girls dig hot quarterbacks. The only reason why the New England Patriots have so many fans, is that they have Tom Brady. For some reason there is something about Tom Brady that girls really like to watch even when they have no idea of what is going on. When it comes to soccer, the sexist player is Clint Dempsey. Everyone knows that Clint Dempsey has the best looks. He is also like the best soccer player alive, no arguments.
Guys... it may seem insulting when your girlfriend is checking out a quarterback who looks twice as better than you do, but I want to ask you a question. Why do we watch women's soccer? Why do we watch women's volleyball? Exactly! I know you know what the answer is so I am not going to type it down. (Also, i don't know how dirty minded you are.) So if we can watch those sports for that reason, why not allow a girl to watch Tom Brady for a few minutes. Plus, she won't annoy you the entire game. Your life will all of a sudden start to get better, trust me.
- BroCODE
Making a girl like a sport isn't easy, but there is a way. All you have to do is occasionally put on a game with a hot quarterback. Girls dig hot quarterbacks. The only reason why the New England Patriots have so many fans, is that they have Tom Brady. For some reason there is something about Tom Brady that girls really like to watch even when they have no idea of what is going on. When it comes to soccer, the sexist player is Clint Dempsey. Everyone knows that Clint Dempsey has the best looks. He is also like the best soccer player alive, no arguments.
Guys... it may seem insulting when your girlfriend is checking out a quarterback who looks twice as better than you do, but I want to ask you a question. Why do we watch women's soccer? Why do we watch women's volleyball? Exactly! I know you know what the answer is so I am not going to type it down. (Also, i don't know how dirty minded you are.) So if we can watch those sports for that reason, why not allow a girl to watch Tom Brady for a few minutes. Plus, she won't annoy you the entire game. Your life will all of a sudden start to get better, trust me.
- BroCODE
Friday, April 6, 2012
Trust Your Wingman More Than You Trust Yourself
The Wingman Pledge:
"I shall uphold the Bro Code to the fullest of my ability. I will never allow my partner to go home with less than a six. I will never rack-jack my buddy, no matter how hot the chick. If my homie meets a hot chick with an ugly friend, I will jump on the grenade. If my buddy gets rejected by a chick, I shall unequivocally agree she sucked anyway, even if she seemed kind of cool and interesting. Should my partner strike up a conversation with a chick of questionably legal age, I will endeavor to ascertain and verify her birth date. Bro Code."
So spring break has started and none of y'all should be worrying about school. If you are, well...get a life. We're are seniors and it is about time to finish the year with some fun. Go out to places, chill with friends, and occasionally try to meet some new ladiesss. Haha.
We all know that no matter how skilled a guy may be, it is always hard to get a conversation going with a girl you have never meet before. To fix this issue, bros from the past century have helped each other by serving as wingmen. A wingman is a friend that you take along with yourself to parties to boost your chances of meeting and impressing a new lady. This leads us into the first rule of choosing a wingman.
Never ask a best friend, who looks twice as better than you OR twice as worse, to be your wingman. A wingman's purpose is to shine some of the stage lights on you, so that you can catch some attention. If you're going to go with someone who looks twice as good, you're basically trying to prevent ladies from looking at you. Considering the other side of the scale, never go with a guy who hasn't brushed his teeth for weeks. You want to attract girls, not get rid of them. Someone who looks equally as handsome is always a good choice.
Make sure that you wingman has decent pre-winging skills. Pre-winging is when your wingman goes up to the girl you have your eye on, and tell her all the amazing stuff about you while you're not there. This way you're not bragging, yet she will know all the amazing facts about you. It will get her a bit more excited about meeting you, and this will also help secure the deal.
You must always trust the judgement of your wingman. Sometimes you can become desperate and go for someone lower than a six, but your wingman will always be there to stop you from making that mistake. If your wingman tells you that the girl isn't worth it, well then you better listen to him and start looking for someone better.
- Bro CODE
"I shall uphold the Bro Code to the fullest of my ability. I will never allow my partner to go home with less than a six. I will never rack-jack my buddy, no matter how hot the chick. If my homie meets a hot chick with an ugly friend, I will jump on the grenade. If my buddy gets rejected by a chick, I shall unequivocally agree she sucked anyway, even if she seemed kind of cool and interesting. Should my partner strike up a conversation with a chick of questionably legal age, I will endeavor to ascertain and verify her birth date. Bro Code."
So spring break has started and none of y'all should be worrying about school. If you are, well...get a life. We're are seniors and it is about time to finish the year with some fun. Go out to places, chill with friends, and occasionally try to meet some new ladiesss. Haha.
We all know that no matter how skilled a guy may be, it is always hard to get a conversation going with a girl you have never meet before. To fix this issue, bros from the past century have helped each other by serving as wingmen. A wingman is a friend that you take along with yourself to parties to boost your chances of meeting and impressing a new lady. This leads us into the first rule of choosing a wingman.
Never ask a best friend, who looks twice as better than you OR twice as worse, to be your wingman. A wingman's purpose is to shine some of the stage lights on you, so that you can catch some attention. If you're going to go with someone who looks twice as good, you're basically trying to prevent ladies from looking at you. Considering the other side of the scale, never go with a guy who hasn't brushed his teeth for weeks. You want to attract girls, not get rid of them. Someone who looks equally as handsome is always a good choice.
Make sure that you wingman has decent pre-winging skills. Pre-winging is when your wingman goes up to the girl you have your eye on, and tell her all the amazing stuff about you while you're not there. This way you're not bragging, yet she will know all the amazing facts about you. It will get her a bit more excited about meeting you, and this will also help secure the deal.
You must always trust the judgement of your wingman. Sometimes you can become desperate and go for someone lower than a six, but your wingman will always be there to stop you from making that mistake. If your wingman tells you that the girl isn't worth it, well then you better listen to him and start looking for someone better.
- Bro CODE
Friday, March 30, 2012
Girls = Heartbreaks, Bros = Anything but Heartbreaks
You can spend entire days and nights with her. Give her all the happiness in the world, and try your best to never make her mad. You want to be with her forever, but she doesn't see the spark in you that you see in her. She is slowly starting to avoid you, and all you can do is wait for that day. Just wait and wait for the day she leaves you broken hearted. Lets admit it, every guys has at least once completely thought that he was in love with a girl. That girl was perfect, until she decided to leave him. Well what do you do now? Well, sitting there and crying about it isn't going to help, so this week the Bro Code will help guys recover after a bad relationship.
Quick note for the ladies: Yes, I know that sometimes the guy is the one to blame for a bad relationship, but seriously...this is the Bro Code, and I am not going to talk about how girls don't think a certain guy is perfect for them, because he doesn't have wavy hair. What is so great about wavy hair anyways?
Back to the guys:
So I am going to start off with some quick things that a guy shouldn't do.
#1) Don't talk about her all the time. I know this one guy, he goes to our school, and ever since the day he broke up with his girfirend, all he does is complain about what an itch on the back she was. (catch my drift?) He tells everyone about all the great things he did for her, and she still decided to leave him for some other guy. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the sad adepressing status updates on facebook. If it has been longer than three days from your break up, then you are no longer allowed to post depressing quotes on facebook. You have had enought time to bring yourself back together and move on.
#2) Don't stalk her on Facebook! Do you realise how creepy that is? She said that she wasn't into you and it may or may not be your fault, but it doesn't mean you have to know what she is doing like 24-7? Or what other guys she may be hanging out with.
Enough with what you shouldn't do and now the fun part. How do you get revenge for dumping you?
First, you have to return to your wolfpack. Remember all your cool bros that you used to hangout with before you started dating that girl? Yeah, I can't you believe that you left them for her in the first place, but anyways the wolfpack is always accepting so you're still invited. More importantly, find a new girl and start talking to her. When ever you are with this person, make sure your ex can see you hanging out with her. Always act like you're having a great time with this person and that you couldn't be doing any better. One thing to always remember is that you can't go for someone that isn't in your league. Just because you have recent broken up, doesn't mean you have to aim low and go for someone that is easy to hook up with.
Second, remain friends with her best friends. Have you ever heard the song "Gives You Hel"l? The goes, "when you hear my name, I hope it gives you hell", and that is all you have to do. Make sure that her friends are reguarly bringing you up in their conversations so that she feels uncomfortable.
Third and the last part is the hardest part. You have to go up to your ex and tell her that she doesn't mean anything to you anymore. You have learned to move on and you are happy with your new life. Tell her that you're glad ybroke up with her, because now you don't have to scarfice video games to spend time with her lol. Leave the impression that you are the stronger person and that what ever she does no longer matters to you.
Moral of the story, when the p-value is low the h** is always going to go, but bros are always there for you. Respect your bros and keep the wolf pack REAL.
- Bro CODE
Quick note for the ladies: Yes, I know that sometimes the guy is the one to blame for a bad relationship, but seriously...this is the Bro Code, and I am not going to talk about how girls don't think a certain guy is perfect for them, because he doesn't have wavy hair. What is so great about wavy hair anyways?
Back to the guys:
So I am going to start off with some quick things that a guy shouldn't do.
#1) Don't talk about her all the time. I know this one guy, he goes to our school, and ever since the day he broke up with his girfirend, all he does is complain about what an itch on the back she was. (catch my drift?) He tells everyone about all the great things he did for her, and she still decided to leave him for some other guy. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the sad adepressing status updates on facebook. If it has been longer than three days from your break up, then you are no longer allowed to post depressing quotes on facebook. You have had enought time to bring yourself back together and move on.
#2) Don't stalk her on Facebook! Do you realise how creepy that is? She said that she wasn't into you and it may or may not be your fault, but it doesn't mean you have to know what she is doing like 24-7? Or what other guys she may be hanging out with.
Enough with what you shouldn't do and now the fun part. How do you get revenge for dumping you?
First, you have to return to your wolfpack. Remember all your cool bros that you used to hangout with before you started dating that girl? Yeah, I can't you believe that you left them for her in the first place, but anyways the wolfpack is always accepting so you're still invited. More importantly, find a new girl and start talking to her. When ever you are with this person, make sure your ex can see you hanging out with her. Always act like you're having a great time with this person and that you couldn't be doing any better. One thing to always remember is that you can't go for someone that isn't in your league. Just because you have recent broken up, doesn't mean you have to aim low and go for someone that is easy to hook up with.
Second, remain friends with her best friends. Have you ever heard the song "Gives You Hel"l? The goes, "when you hear my name, I hope it gives you hell", and that is all you have to do. Make sure that her friends are reguarly bringing you up in their conversations so that she feels uncomfortable.
Third and the last part is the hardest part. You have to go up to your ex and tell her that she doesn't mean anything to you anymore. You have learned to move on and you are happy with your new life. Tell her that you're glad ybroke up with her, because now you don't have to scarfice video games to spend time with her lol. Leave the impression that you are the stronger person and that what ever she does no longer matters to you.
Moral of the story, when the p-value is low the h** is always going to go, but bros are always there for you. Respect your bros and keep the wolf pack REAL.
- Bro CODE
Friday, March 23, 2012
Being the man in the shiny white armor
"The two things a guy has to experience when growing up are (1) whooping somebody's butt in a fight and (2) getting his butt whooped in a fight."
Lets admit it guys, sometimes we just can't control ourselves. Things start to get out of hand, and the only option remaining is to roll up your sleeves and get ready to fight. I am not promoting fighting, but sometimes it is just necessary to keep our shiny white armor stainless.
How do you tell if a guy is really about to fight:
Guys that get up into each others face and start talking crap are usually the ones who have no intentions of fighting. All they are going to do is stand there and yell out stuff like "come at me, bro" or "try to touch me, mane...and see what happens". The best those guys will do is probably shove each other a bit and then walk away. Now if you ever see a pissed off man walking quietly towards you, get the heck out of there because he is really about to inflict some punishment.
The three big reasons why a guy will start a fight are:
1) Shattered ego - There isn't a guy in the world who likes to be proven wrong. Guys like to be right all time. When someone tries to challenge our intelligence, skills, or competition...it's GAME ON! There are no rules, no mercy, and no turning back. Just like the saying "everything is fair in love and war," and all you are trying to do is win.
2) Disrespectful comment to your family - My family is my legacy. If you're going to insult my legacy, well then I'm about to put an end to yours. Anytime someone says something about your family, you must stand tall and defend yourself. It doesn't matter if what they are saying is right or wrong, you must send the statement that they better think twice before saying another word.
3) Someone tried to mess with your girl - If you're in a relationship, then your girlfriend become a part of your reputation, and you can not let anyone try to mess with her. PERIOD.
Sometimes there are moments when you're not involved in a fight, but your friend is. As you stand on the sideline and watch what is happening, you notice that your friend is 7 inches shorter and 25 pounds lighter than his opponent.What do you do next? First, you have to ask yourself whether you stand a chance. If you do, you have to jump in and help your brother out. You never want to jump into a fight to help a friend and then end up getting your butt whooped, because people are shooting videos of it and that stuff will make it on to the Internet and possibly Tosh.O. If you don't have a chance, you have to get your Gandhi on, and try to talk the problem out. Another thing that will get you out of this situation is pulling your friend back and yelling out "if i weren't holding him back, you would be knocked out by now." Keep it smooth and don't lose your respect points.
- Bro Code
Lets admit it guys, sometimes we just can't control ourselves. Things start to get out of hand, and the only option remaining is to roll up your sleeves and get ready to fight. I am not promoting fighting, but sometimes it is just necessary to keep our shiny white armor stainless.
How do you tell if a guy is really about to fight:
Guys that get up into each others face and start talking crap are usually the ones who have no intentions of fighting. All they are going to do is stand there and yell out stuff like "come at me, bro" or "try to touch me, mane...and see what happens". The best those guys will do is probably shove each other a bit and then walk away. Now if you ever see a pissed off man walking quietly towards you, get the heck out of there because he is really about to inflict some punishment.
The three big reasons why a guy will start a fight are:
1) Shattered ego - There isn't a guy in the world who likes to be proven wrong. Guys like to be right all time. When someone tries to challenge our intelligence, skills, or competition...it's GAME ON! There are no rules, no mercy, and no turning back. Just like the saying "everything is fair in love and war," and all you are trying to do is win.
2) Disrespectful comment to your family - My family is my legacy. If you're going to insult my legacy, well then I'm about to put an end to yours. Anytime someone says something about your family, you must stand tall and defend yourself. It doesn't matter if what they are saying is right or wrong, you must send the statement that they better think twice before saying another word.
3) Someone tried to mess with your girl - If you're in a relationship, then your girlfriend become a part of your reputation, and you can not let anyone try to mess with her. PERIOD.
Sometimes there are moments when you're not involved in a fight, but your friend is. As you stand on the sideline and watch what is happening, you notice that your friend is 7 inches shorter and 25 pounds lighter than his opponent.What do you do next? First, you have to ask yourself whether you stand a chance. If you do, you have to jump in and help your brother out. You never want to jump into a fight to help a friend and then end up getting your butt whooped, because people are shooting videos of it and that stuff will make it on to the Internet and possibly Tosh.O. If you don't have a chance, you have to get your Gandhi on, and try to talk the problem out. Another thing that will get you out of this situation is pulling your friend back and yelling out "if i weren't holding him back, you would be knocked out by now." Keep it smooth and don't lose your respect points.
- Bro Code
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